Welcome back to Alexa Loves AYA’s! You may have noticed my absence the last two weeks. I shared on social media that I had a gut punching loss in my life who was also a fellow member of the AYA community. I needed some time to pull myself together. I would like to thank you so much for all your support and love you’ve given me during this difficult time. I have a special edition of ALAYA’s in memory of him that I will post when I’m ready. Until then, here is what I’ve picked out tonight.

I have loved this band since I saw the amazing music video for their song Typical. I listen to them almost daily due to their unique sound. This song is also deeply personal to me as I will explain later on. The song I want to dedicate to you today, dear friend, is Joy Rides by MuteMath.

I know, I know. This could be a confusing song choice for you! From lines “It all went wrong today” and “the good news is probably worse” why oh why did you pick this song Alexa?? I was listening to Joy Rides when I filled out the new patient paperwork at MD Anderson Cancer Cancer. Getting diagnosed with cancer was difficult and I needed to embrace that instead of “fixing” it right away. But at the same time I still had reason to be hopeful, even if it wasn’t that day. Life IS messy. That is why I like this song. It isn’t all happy or all sad. It’s an acknowledgement of the sad night, but hope for the coming joyful morning.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been going through what feels like a long night. I started questioning if morning was actually coming. Since the loss I’ve been on the quiet side (not like myself), not wanting to laugh or have too much fun. And it’s my cancer awareness month! I’ve been frustrated at my lack of “productivity”. A wonderful quote I heard is that grief is confusing, and it is! Grief isn’t just exclusive to the loss of a person, but maybe a body part, fertility, ability, or any other loss that comes with cancer or a serious/chronic illness. I hope you know it’s okay to grieve and let yourself take the time you need, even if means slowing down during an “important” time. It’s also okay to get help when it gets too overwhelming.

The song reminds us that “morning’s gonna come”. You may not be in your morning yet, and still in “it all went wrong today” phase. Until morning comes, whatever that looks like for the both of us, I will be there hoping. May our joy rides come sooner than later!

Thanks for tuning in to this edition of Alexa Loves AYA’s and spending part of your evening with me. Feel free to send a link or tag on social media if a loved one needs to hear this. I look forward to dedicating another song to you and expressing my more of heart next week! I can’t wait to visit with you again, dear friend.